Stephon Marbury. He's a strange guy.
If you don't know who he is, he's a guard for the Boston Celtics. He's has a "Starbury" tattooed on the side of his head, which is a star that he uses as his logo for his sports apparel. He also saw Jesus in the shower the other day. Wait... what??
Stephon was asked if he believed in aliens, and his response was, "Do I believe in aliens? I don't know, because I've never seen one. But I believe in Jesus because I saw him in the shower the other day."
Apparantly Jesus rose from the dead again, a few thousand years later, to take a shower at Marbury's place. Interesting.
Link: Stephon showers with Jesus
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
MMA - Bas Rutten
I'm a big Mixed Martial Arts fan (MMA). One of my favorite fighters is Bas Rutten. He's retired now, but is still an underground favorite because of his personality. I can't explain it, you just have to watch him and then you'll understand.
Bas makes self defense videos - real world self defense where you are trying to hurt the other guy as quickly and as badly as possible in the shortest amount of time and then you can get the hell out of Dodge. It's all about avoiding damage to yourself or someone you are protecting and making sure the other guy won't be following you when you try to leave.
What makes his videos is his personality. He's the one of the funniest guys I've ever seen. Just watch this video - trust me.
Bas Rutten Training Video
Here's another video with Bas that aired on the Discovery Channel. Scientists are testing the power of kicks as compared to a car wreck. Bas surprised them.
Bas Kicks the Shit out of a Dummy
If I had a hero, it'd be Bas Rutten.
Bas makes self defense videos - real world self defense where you are trying to hurt the other guy as quickly and as badly as possible in the shortest amount of time and then you can get the hell out of Dodge. It's all about avoiding damage to yourself or someone you are protecting and making sure the other guy won't be following you when you try to leave.
What makes his videos is his personality. He's the one of the funniest guys I've ever seen. Just watch this video - trust me.
Bas Rutten Training Video
Here's another video with Bas that aired on the Discovery Channel. Scientists are testing the power of kicks as compared to a car wreck. Bas surprised them.
Bas Kicks the Shit out of a Dummy
If I had a hero, it'd be Bas Rutten.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Cleaning House + Fantasy Football
As a single guy, I find that my house gets quite dirty before I can motivate myself to clean it. Today was that day.
It's amazing the things you find when you move your couch to clean underneath it. I found three pairs of fingernail clippers. I was wondering where they went. But that number was beat out by - the chapstick. Living in a dry climate forces me to keep chapstick handy. Now I won't be short for a while since I found...
ELEVEN sticks of chapstick in and under my couch. Good greif.
What ever happened to the "money in the couch" myth? I found a penny. I was at least expecting a few quarters.
I started my Fantasy Football League today as well. This is a hardcore group of players that have been in the same league for years. I was lucky to get in it. We are having a draft party on August 9th. Basically people meet at the commisioner's house and his wife cooks tons of food and we eat, drink from the keg he has there and make our team picks. After it's done we play poker till 3am. It's a good time. We can win a sizable amount of money at the end of the year as well. First place gets well over a thousand dollars, with payouts for 2nd through 4th place as well. More importantly, you get to brag and wear the winner's shirt and keep the trophy for a year. Yes, I know it's nerdy. That's why we drink heavily while we do it.
I picked up Berrian in a trade today for my Fantasy Football team. He's a WR on the Vikings and his stock will shoot through the roof when Farve joins the team. Farve hasn't said whether or not he's coming back yet, but I'm sure he is. It's a sleeper pick which could pay off later.
I have to work in 5 hours, which means if I lay down right now, I can get 4 hours of sleep. Oh joy.
G'night.
It's amazing the things you find when you move your couch to clean underneath it. I found three pairs of fingernail clippers. I was wondering where they went. But that number was beat out by - the chapstick. Living in a dry climate forces me to keep chapstick handy. Now I won't be short for a while since I found...
ELEVEN sticks of chapstick in and under my couch. Good greif.
What ever happened to the "money in the couch" myth? I found a penny. I was at least expecting a few quarters.
I started my Fantasy Football League today as well. This is a hardcore group of players that have been in the same league for years. I was lucky to get in it. We are having a draft party on August 9th. Basically people meet at the commisioner's house and his wife cooks tons of food and we eat, drink from the keg he has there and make our team picks. After it's done we play poker till 3am. It's a good time. We can win a sizable amount of money at the end of the year as well. First place gets well over a thousand dollars, with payouts for 2nd through 4th place as well. More importantly, you get to brag and wear the winner's shirt and keep the trophy for a year. Yes, I know it's nerdy. That's why we drink heavily while we do it.
I picked up Berrian in a trade today for my Fantasy Football team. He's a WR on the Vikings and his stock will shoot through the roof when Farve joins the team. Farve hasn't said whether or not he's coming back yet, but I'm sure he is. It's a sleeper pick which could pay off later.
I have to work in 5 hours, which means if I lay down right now, I can get 4 hours of sleep. Oh joy.
G'night.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Stone
My neighbor, Stone, looks almost EXACTLY like the Gieco Cavman, sans beard. Look at this picture here: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOatfTsjaks9nR1cPMTYTwHoKN7h2uP2btXNSTul8JVINrkDKyrabCuUgpFF8w56oUZPTAcpdBfDTs2GBAlp3ehkfCBrIrsxW9TKwjOYDEeNXuFkIo6ajqer9LgKVvR-Q08TSd4Xtm6a-n/s400/geico-caveman-lg.jpg
Now, shave off the beard. Not totally - leave about a weeks growth and make the hair black instead of brown. He's almost a spitting image, especially when he's trashed, which is often.
I promise you this. At some point I'll figure out a way to get a picture of him on my cell phone camera and post it here for you to compare.
By the way, no one knows his real name. We all call him "Stone". Seriously. We have no earthly idea.
Now, shave off the beard. Not totally - leave about a weeks growth and make the hair black instead of brown. He's almost a spitting image, especially when he's trashed, which is often.
I promise you this. At some point I'll figure out a way to get a picture of him on my cell phone camera and post it here for you to compare.
By the way, no one knows his real name. We all call him "Stone". Seriously. We have no earthly idea.
A New Video Game Idea - "Branch Beating"
While chatting with one of my buddies over Xbox Live the other day (it's a video game online interface) we came up with a great idea for a new game.
Why not have a war game (like the one we were playing - Call of Duty: World at War) where you could use things in the environment when you ran out of ammo? For example, you're hiding in the woods shooting enemies and you run out of ammo for your rifle; your pistol's empty too. What to do?
Well, wouldn't it be great if you could gather rocks up and throw them at enemies as they ran by? That barrel you passed earlier? Yeah, you could pick that up and crown someone over the head with it (along with a satisfying "thud" sound). How about going to a tree and ripping a branch off and sneaking up behind an enemy hiding in a bush and beating him to death with it.
That last one got us laughing so hard we couldn't breathe. Imagine looking through your sniper scope and far in the distance you see some guy crouched behind a rock, thinking he's hidden, and behind him you see some guy holding a branch the size of a mattress and all of a sudden he starts beating the hell out of the guy with it. Even funnier - he has a rapid fire controller and is beating him with this leafy branch at the rate of 10 whacks a second.
If THIS were in a game - I would buy it. EVERYONE would buy it - if it were added to an already quality game like Call of Duty.
If only I had the power...
Why not have a war game (like the one we were playing - Call of Duty: World at War) where you could use things in the environment when you ran out of ammo? For example, you're hiding in the woods shooting enemies and you run out of ammo for your rifle; your pistol's empty too. What to do?
Well, wouldn't it be great if you could gather rocks up and throw them at enemies as they ran by? That barrel you passed earlier? Yeah, you could pick that up and crown someone over the head with it (along with a satisfying "thud" sound). How about going to a tree and ripping a branch off and sneaking up behind an enemy hiding in a bush and beating him to death with it.
That last one got us laughing so hard we couldn't breathe. Imagine looking through your sniper scope and far in the distance you see some guy crouched behind a rock, thinking he's hidden, and behind him you see some guy holding a branch the size of a mattress and all of a sudden he starts beating the hell out of the guy with it. Even funnier - he has a rapid fire controller and is beating him with this leafy branch at the rate of 10 whacks a second.
If THIS were in a game - I would buy it. EVERYONE would buy it - if it were added to an already quality game like Call of Duty.
If only I had the power...
Thiago's Translations
So, I work with this Brazillian guy. His English is pretty good, but he still tends to mess up American sayings that he's only heard once or twice before. Whenever I tell him a new little saying he always says he's going to test it out by finding a way to use it in conversation with his wife. He rarely gets the saying correct and sometimes even pisses her off because he mangles it so much. I try to feed him new sayings everytime I can, hoping he'll try to use it. The results are usually hilarious. I started writing them down to tell my friends, and I figured I'd post it here for them to check up on. It'll always be called "Thiago's Translations".
Here are a few I remember from the past:
Thiago likes his wife's skin. He kept telling her that he loves her "pale skin", and he said she kept giving him this look when he told her that. I told him that the word "pale" wasn't really flattering and usually has a negative connotation associated with it. I told him to try telling her, "I love your fair skin." Three days later he came back and said that she was even more irritated than before. Surprised, I asked what he told her. He said, "I told her "Your skin is very unfair."
A few months ago, a song came over the speakers at work. It was "Maneater" by Hall and Oats - an old 80's song. Thiago perked up and said he remembered that song. It was played a lot in Brazil when he was young. He always wanted to see the video though to see what a woman fighter looked like. Puzzled, I asked him what the heck a woman fighter had to do with that song, and he immediately started singing the chorus of "Whoa-oh here she comes. Whatch out boy, she'll beat you up. Whoa-oh here she comes. She's a bag beater!" After I stopped laughing, he explained that he thought it was about a woman boxer who beat up men, and she was called "bag beater" because she practiced on the heavy bag a lot.
And the last one for this post is a short saying I told him the other day. We were talking about something and I said "He kicked her to the curb". He started laughing and said that didn't make any sense to him, so I explained it. He then said he'd try to work that into a conversation with his wife in the next few days. The next day he said that his wife had never heard of that saying before. I told him that she HAD to of heard of it - it was very common. When he told me what he said to her I understood why she had no clue. He told her that he was going to "Beat her into the curb". I almost laughed until I cried.
Oh, one last one that I just remembered. One day he was running around doing some strange dance while saying "Meet me at the donut shop! Meet me at the donut shop!". Finally, I asked him what song he was singing. After hours of asking him about different songs I finally narrowed it down to The Humpty Dance by Digital Underground. The line he was mangling was "I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom." How on earth he changed that into "Meet me at the donut shop!" is beyond me.
That's my Brazillian buddy, Thiago.
Here are a few I remember from the past:
Thiago likes his wife's skin. He kept telling her that he loves her "pale skin", and he said she kept giving him this look when he told her that. I told him that the word "pale" wasn't really flattering and usually has a negative connotation associated with it. I told him to try telling her, "I love your fair skin." Three days later he came back and said that she was even more irritated than before. Surprised, I asked what he told her. He said, "I told her "Your skin is very unfair."
A few months ago, a song came over the speakers at work. It was "Maneater" by Hall and Oats - an old 80's song. Thiago perked up and said he remembered that song. It was played a lot in Brazil when he was young. He always wanted to see the video though to see what a woman fighter looked like. Puzzled, I asked him what the heck a woman fighter had to do with that song, and he immediately started singing the chorus of "Whoa-oh here she comes. Whatch out boy, she'll beat you up. Whoa-oh here she comes. She's a bag beater!" After I stopped laughing, he explained that he thought it was about a woman boxer who beat up men, and she was called "bag beater" because she practiced on the heavy bag a lot.
And the last one for this post is a short saying I told him the other day. We were talking about something and I said "He kicked her to the curb". He started laughing and said that didn't make any sense to him, so I explained it. He then said he'd try to work that into a conversation with his wife in the next few days. The next day he said that his wife had never heard of that saying before. I told him that she HAD to of heard of it - it was very common. When he told me what he said to her I understood why she had no clue. He told her that he was going to "Beat her into the curb". I almost laughed until I cried.
Oh, one last one that I just remembered. One day he was running around doing some strange dance while saying "Meet me at the donut shop! Meet me at the donut shop!". Finally, I asked him what song he was singing. After hours of asking him about different songs I finally narrowed it down to The Humpty Dance by Digital Underground. The line he was mangling was "I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom." How on earth he changed that into "Meet me at the donut shop!" is beyond me.
That's my Brazillian buddy, Thiago.
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